Profeshinul Drinker

There's a bloke I work with who's a professional drinker. Now you've probably just conjured up an image of a haggard, leather-faced, bleary-eyed old alky. But you'd be sorely mistaken. The really amusing thing is (and he won't mind me saying this) is that he actually only looks about 15. I kid you not.

To prove the point about his youthful looks, he was recently on jury service. During a break in proceedings, he popped into to town to buy some food. As he was exiting a shop he was approached by a police officer who asked him why he wasn't in school. He replied, stating that the reason he was not in school was because he was twenty six years old.

So, back to his professional drinking. Although he has a home and a wife, he also has a second home. The pub. But he doesn't just have a drink or two in there, oh no. He pretty much stays as long as he wants and he has even slept over when the thought of a long and arduous ten-minute taxi ride home was too much. Better still, he sometimes serves in there as well. I remember him serving me several times one evening and then resuming his drinking once he'd poured my pint. Brilliant!

Now don't get me wrong. He's no alky. Well only as much as you or me ... maybe a teeny bit more but the thing is, he does it all with such laid-back style. You have to admire him. And the best bit? Yes, he has a bar tab. I've never in all my life managed to get a tab (you know, an account) at a pub. For that alone, he gets a gold medal for professional drinking.

Cheers to that.