Saturday, January 26, 2008

So iTouching

Oh what can I say? I am now one of those most terrible of things. An occasional blogger. Gone are the days of a posting every two days. I can only hope and pray ... well not exactly pray because I am an atheist, but anyway, I just hope I can return to form and start writing my own, unique brand of drivel a little more frequently. Enough of this. On to the subject of the post:

I am now the very proud owner of an iPod Touch. If you don't know what one is, then imagine an iPhone without the phone. OK, if you don't know what an iPhone is I give up. So, my 'Touch' is amazing and gorgeous and clever and, and ... well, just a bit special. When I've shown it to friends, family and colleagues they have (almost) all been truly impressed or even amazed at the almost magical way in which it works. The fact you have a flat glass screen with no buttons on creates an surreal experience when you start surfing the internet, flicking through your album collection, watching movies or sending emails.

If you get a chance to play with one or an iPhone, you'll certainly understand what I'm getting so hot and bothered about. Mind you, one or two people just didn't seem to appreciate the shiny technological marvel as much as me. Even demonstrating how you can zoom into a photo by 'pinching' your fingers across the glass, merely elicited a "hmmm" from one person. Obviously they are mentally deficient or have the IQ of a church. Never mind. These people where very much in the minority. Thank God ... if He does actually exist.

Since getting my new iPod last Saturday I have realised that I am trapped in a never-ending cycle of techno-lust. And I like it. True, it is one of the more expensive hobbies out there but for sheer, unadulterated pleasure involving shiny objects that need batteries (and I'm not talking about sex toys), you can't beat gadgets. They may have no soul or feelings but they spread joy, like a kind of happy wifi.

And I'm SO logged on to that.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Supreme indifference

I just choked on an apple. I nearly, actually, really, died. I am at work and my boss was standing beside me as my life began to ebb away. She did sod all. I mean really, how close to death do you have to be before your own manager, (another human being let's not forget) either notices or cares about your well-being? It's a bit like Hitler. Oh dear, she's just come back into the office and seen what I'm writing.

I fear death my be my companion sooner than expected.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year

And there you have it. The compulsory welcome to what is, actually, just a Tuesday. Seriously though dear readers, I hope 2008 is a truly memorable year - for all the right reasons and not just for something trivial like your piles clearing up all on their own.

And make sure you enjoy yourself in the coming year because as I always say "you're born and then you die, so you might as well enjoy the bit in the middle."

Now where's my pile cream ... ?