Speling And gramer

I have a pet hate that eclipses all of my other pet hates. Spelling and grammar. Now I don't want to sound like a miserable old sod or an extreme pedant, but the way some people write these days is abysmal.

If any of you reading this are offended by what I'm about to say then it probably means that you are guilty of butchering the English language and should be flogged to death. Or maybe just told off a bit.

Here are my top six gripes:

1. Alot / alot. There's no such bloody word! It's 'a lot' - two words.
2. Capital letters in Wrong places for no Reason. Aaaaarrrggghh!
3. Their and there. 'We went over there' / 'It was their idea' Two different meanings!
4. American spellings such as 'humor' and 'color'. We are not a US state. Yet.
5. Punctuation. For God's sake use some punctuation in your sentences especially if it's a really long sentence because if you don't it will make people die due to lack of oxygen in their lungs now that can't be a good thing can it
6. Grammar. It is mostly more essential if you are a writer of accurate sentences than if they are incomprehensible. Grammar are very important.

And remember, using a spell-checker does not mean A) the grammar is correct or B) you've actually used the correct word in the first place. OK? Right, I've got that all off my chest now. I feel alot calmer.

Nooooooooo!