Plagiarism!

OK, alright, just leave it will you? Look, blogging ain't easy. You have to think of someting to write nearly every day and in my case I have to try and make it amusing too. So I'm under more pressure than a bloke with his finger stuck in a hole in the Hoover Dam. So sometimes, just sometimes I have to resort to a bit of plagiarism (the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work) in order to deliver to my readers. Although, as I'm admitting my cheating it's technically not plagiarism. Just borrowing. Sort of.

Anyway, a dear chum of mine (who used to have a chiselled jaw but it's filled out a bit now) sent me a rather amusing email. Now I truly, hardly ever forward on emails (especially the ones that have already been forwarded 87 times and every single person who's sent it onwards has left all the addresses and other crap on from the previous sender and the one before and ... and ...) so I've only borrowed this because I reckon it's both amusing and witty - unlike all my posts thus far.

So, without further ado, here it is:

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero co-ordination.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

Next time - Original content! Subject to creative ability.