Shellsuit Heaven part 3

And on we go. Fear not though, I won't inflict the whole of the Reverend's diary on you:


Wednesday

Sister Maureen was discovered, still cowering in the Archbishop's medical closet after Vernon, the cleaner (and village idiot), accidentally locked the door. The Sister was unharmed, although her hips were badly bruised and she was unable to speak until elevenses, at noon.

Today we received news that the Archdeacon will be visiting next week. We are all most excited as he has recently had a diobolocatadichtomy and he will be giving a talk on his operation - with slides.

Thursday

One of our parishioners, Mrs Titkins, has made a small cake. Whilst we were most grateful, the unusual combination of strawberries and solidified gravy was not too well received. Matron is on standby.

The church cat, Timmy has gone missing. Sister Jennifer has placed a card in the newsagents' window pleading for information. Timmy is a distinctive creature, having just 3 legs, 1 eye and mal-formed tail. You may recognise him by a small, white patch at the back of his paw on the front left hand side.


Friday

Brother Ted has been stung on the face by a bee. Dr Monkfurnace has been called, and, as it is such a dire emergency, with Brother Ted's life in the balance, he has promised to speed his way here within eleven days. God be with him.

The missing cheese has been located. It was found by a parishioner in between 2 slices of bread and smeared with home-made piccalilli and 2 sardines...... in my knapsack. I have apologised to all concerned.


Keep the fan mail flooding in. Er ...