Shellsuit Heaven part 2

Well happy, warm and sunny Easter to you. Yep, the sun is shining and it's beautifully warm, here in the UK, for the Bank Holiday weekend. See, miracles do happen.

Anyway, as promised here are a couple of mildly amusing tidbits from my old Shellsuit Heaven website:


Monday

The start of a new week in the ethereal parish and the weather is not good. Despite being here in Shellsuit Heaven, we still suffer the same meteorological misfortunes as mere mortals.

The hail has been particularly bad and the poor soul who suffered most was Sister Maureen. You may be aware that Sister Maureen is, rather sadly, blessed with a rather large nose, which is covered with pimply warts which are prone to sag and burst when impacted upon by sharp objects. This includes hail. A severe eruption of nasal pustules following the hail storm, meant the Sister spent over 2 hours in the Archbishops' medical closet. Our prayers are with her.


Tuesday

Brother Derek and Brother Ted have been attempting to restart our honey producing operation. This is indeed a brave move for Brother Ted who is extremely allergic to bee stings. He has been told that if he were stung, he could collapse and die within 4 minutes. Even if he survived, the poison could cause his colon to swell to the size of an oboe, according to the local doctor - Dr Monkfurnace.

Sister Maureen's nose has become partially detached from her face and we are awaiting a small miracle.

2 ounces of cheese has disappeared from the larder. I am investigating.


It's not real you know