Homity pie recipe

Oh my God. This blog is turning into Delia Smith's 'How To Cook'. Personally, my cookery hero is Hugh Fearnely-Whittingstall. Anyone who can make a meal out of roadside weeds and bits of random woodland animal is alright by me. Even though I'm half-veggie. Anyway, due to popular (one request) demand, following on from my blog about the pub meal, I have decided to share my Homity pie recipe. I think it's chuffing gorgeous and it's dead easy to make, especially if you cheat and buy frozen shortcrust pastry. Excited? OK then. Here goes:

Ingredients:

Shortcrust Pastry 300g
Potatoes 350g
Onions 450g
Oil 3 tablespoons
Margarine 25g
Parsley, chopped 15g
Cheese, grated 100g
Garlic cloves 2 crushed
Milk 1 tablespoon
Salt & pepper to taste

• Roll out the pastry and use to line six 4” individual tins or foil dishes.

• Alternatively, use a single 8” dish.

• Boil or steam the potatoes until tender.

• Chop the onions, then sauté in the oil until really soft.

• Combine the potatoes and onions. Add the butter, parsley, half (50g) of the cheese, garlic, and milk. season well to taste.

• Really mix well. Break up (don’t mash) the potatoes. Allow to cool.

• Once cool – use the mixture to fill the pastry cases or dish.

• Sprinkle with the remaining cheese.

• Bake in the oven at 220°C (425°F) for 20 minutes, until golden.

• If baking in an 8” dish, bake for 25-30 minutes.

Makes 6 pies

Then shout "Who ate all the pies?" Then shout again "I did!"

Arrogance alert

I thought it was about time I 'bigged' myself up a bit. So today I'm going to tell you about something that I'm brilliant at. Anyone who knows me would probably agree. In fact, I know they would agree. So what is it that I can afford to be so arrogant about? What do I feel I am so good at? I shall tell you then, dear reader (that's a generic 'reader', not a singular version).

Accents.

I am great at doing accents. I once counted them all and it was over 50. I must say that I think I have a natural talent for impersonating voices. Not impersonating people, but rather the way they speak. It's a bit ironic really that I have such a good ear copying the way people speak because when it comes to singing I'm bloody abysmal. Not so much tone-deaf as tone-dead. I truly have an appalling ability to not follow the tune of any song. I had a singing lesson once. The bloke played a note on the piano which I was supposed to then sing. After several attempts, he told me to sing the note and he would try and copy it. He couldn't find a matching note. That's a true story and one which proves my point. I am to singing what Genghis Khan was to 13th century world peace or Tequila slammers are to incisive political debate. I can't sing.

So, good job then that I can do accents. I do international as well as regional accents. Being from England, I do many UK accents including all the ones that actors put on their CV's (resumes for our U.S chums) such as 'Cockney', 'Scouse' and 'Scottish'. Now if you are reading this from Scotland, that last one will annoy you. It will annoy you for the same reason as someone who says that they can do an 'American', 'English' or 'Irish' accent does. That's because countries do not have a single generic accent and as someone who actually lives in the UK, I should be able to do at least some regional variations.

So, I can do two or three Scottish accents including a fairly good Glaswegian. I can do a Southern Ireland (Eire) and Northern Ireland accent and in fact, can have a go at two N.I accents - (London)Derry and Belfast. Yes there is a difference! I can do north and south Wales pretty damn well. I was once working in a job where I had to pretend to be from an actual Welsh village called Ystradgynlais. I was chatting to some Welsh people (using my accent) and they asked where I was from. Now being all professional, I didn't want to say that I was from a town in England but they went on and on at me until I told them that I wasn't Welsh. They were gobsmaked but the best bit was when they said that they knew I wasn't from Ystradgynlais because I sounded like I was from Cwmtach. Cwmtach is about 2 miles from Ystradgynlais. It was then that I knew I was good.

My international accents are not too bad and include (without regional variations - yet) 'Australian', 'French', 'South African', 'Chinese', 'Italian', 'Russian' and others. For the USA I reckon I can do 'New York', 'Texas" and a sort of generic one which sometimes becomes a 'California' special.... Maybe I shall give you a taster on the next podcast which is due out this week. I know you're all waiting with baited breath. Er, possibly. Well that's enough being arrogant for one day and time to revert to my usual, modest self.

I'm brilliant at modesty.

Postings, pubs and pies

Ooh my posting is slipping again. Sorry about that. I've got no excuses. Anyway, as I've got your interest I just wanted to say that I've had some nice feedback about the podcast. Now I know it's not the best (yet) but I shall persevere and hopefully you'll be laughing. Or tittering. Or smirking - slightly.

Please let me know if you have any problems listening to the podcast, either on the podcast website or via iTunes. There is actually an old podcast feed on iTunes which I need to try and get deleted. the correct one has the (currently two) most up to date shows on and had a 5 star feedback on there too!

Well, time for some more wine. I'm still savouring the gorgeous salad dressing I knocked up earlier. God I'm a talented individual. In fact I must tell you my recipe for homity pie sometime. It's a classic, old English dish and one I'd never seen in a restaurant until Friday night when a load of us went to a renowned pub for a hearty meal. The food on offer was amazing and the setting is pure, old-fashioned English pub. And no, none of it is fake. It's a truly wonderful setting and still full of locals as well as the 'outsiders' who have come to sample the highly rated food. However, the most memorable thing for me was the appearance of homity pie on the menu. I was so chuffed, although I didn't order it in case it was better than my own version!

So thank you to the The Bear inn at Alderwasley in Derbyshire. It was worth the long journey to get there and any pub that serves food including wild boar and homity pie is alright by me.

Cheers.

Just a quickie!

I've just got in from work and I've had a long day. Got another long day tomorrow so I'm not going to do a lengthy post. Even 40 year old blokes need their beauty sleep. Actually, I need a lot of beauty sleep. Anyway, I met someone today who is tri-lingual. he speaks English, German and Spanish. Now I really admire people who can speak other languages.

I always remember being taught French in school. It was ridiculous because we spent weeks learning reflexive verbs and sub-congugated, pre-raphaelite nouns in French, when we didn't even know what the bloody hell they were in English. And don't even talk to me about learning German. It's a really tricky language to learn and, if I recall, has three tenses - masculine, feminine and neutral. I think. "Die deutsche Sprache ist einfach zu erlernen und eine Freude, zum zu sprechen". If you can translate that I shall buy you a beer. Possibly.

Anyway, enough rambling. And enough foreign languages. Hold on though - this is fun." 私は寢て疲れ、必要性である。明日私達はヤギの農場に行く"。Tranlsated from Chinese, that means "I am tired and need to go to sleep. Tomorrow we shall go to the goat farm". Ha! Just a couple more. I know you're enjoying this. How about "Mijn knieën zijn zwak wegens de hoge winden. Ik kan nu het strijken doen niet". That's Dutch for "My knees are weak because of the high winds. I cannot do the ironing now". And finally "Le signore nel villaggio sono impaurite dei fiori gialli. Dobbiamo utilizzare l'aerostato magico per fuoriuscire". In Italian it sounds enchanting but in English it sounds rather disturbing - "The ladies in the village are afraid of the yellow flowers. We must use the magic balloon to escape".

I think I should lie down. (Σκέφτομαι ότι πρέπει να ξαπλώσω - in Greek)

Come on Greenland!

I'm sure you're all aware of the imepending, major football tournament which is about to start. Yes of course you are. However, for those that don't know, between November 18th and 25th it's the world famous 'Elf Cup' which this year is taking place in North Cyprus. Amongst the galaxy of top international teams taking part are, Kyrgyzstan, Afghanistan, Zanzibar and of course, Greenland.

Now the Elf Cup is a new international footie tournament for those countries whose teams are not recognised by FIFA (the world governing body for football) and thus cannot compete in FIFA competitions such as the World Cup. Now although it's only new, it is a proper tournament although the bods who are organising it are looking for any sponsorship they can get. So of you fancy helping out, please visit the website by clicking on 'Come on Greenland' above.

So why am I supporting Greenland in this exciting tournament? Well, it just appeals to me for some reason. Maybe it's the thought of all those extremely hardy, weathered Greenlanders having to play football in the heat of Cyprus, or maybe it's because of my posting about 'Mallemaroking' which concerned fishermen on Greenland whaling ships (click on the 'Greenland' tag below this posting) or perhaps it's just because Greenland seems the most unlikely footballing nation of the lot.

Either way, I shall be supporting "The Polar Teddy Bears" - yes that really is their official nickname - all the way. And I will be keeping you, dear reader, up to date with their progress. I'm sure you're collective buttocks are trembling in anticipation. About the football. Obviously.

I have discovered an amazing fact too. You know that I am a Birmingham City fan? Well a year or two ago we had this bloke playing for us called Jesper Grønkjær whom we signed from Chelsea. Well I'll be jiggered. He is a Greenlander! I know, I was amazed too. Sadly though, Jesper has not, does not and never will play for his native country. As Greenland is officially part of Denmark and Denmark is recognized by FIFA, it's Denmark that benefits and not Greenland.

At least they've got whaling. Er ...

So tired

I must be getting old. Oh, I am. I feel so tired after working over the weekend and am struggling to wake up this morning. Never mind, I've got work later so that should do the trick. Yay.

When you're tired, everything seems a real effort so you can imagine my dismay when I just remembered that Christmas is on the way. This of course means present-buying and card-sending which are two things I absolutely detest. What's worse, I know so many people who have already started the whole process and I've heard of two people who have finished (I'll say that again) finished their Christmas shopping already. What? Do these people have their own graves dug - ready and waiting as well?

So the thought of the impending festive trauma is making me feel even more tired now. Therefore I propose to eat some late breakfast and then watch telly whilst returning to a semi-comotose state before I have to do the work thing again.

Wow. Life's a ball ain't it?

Podcast at last!

It's here! The YBATYD Podcast has landed. Actually, it arrived two weeks ago and those eagle-eyed readers amongst you may have seen the subtle little link to the podcast site at the top right of this page.

Episode 1, however, is really just a pilot show with no real content. Mind you it's worth a listen. Episode 2 is far better. It's even got a proper structure to it and everything! Now the YBATYD Podcast will be broadcast every two weeks (or as near as I can muster) and will be in two parts.

Part one will be a review and update of all the recent postings from this 'ere blog. Part two will be an exciting look at some of the amusing, weird and bizarre stories from the web as well as any strange websites I think you may be interested in. You lucky people.

Now there are a couple of ways to listen to the YBATYD Podcast. Either way, you firstly need to click the podcast link on this page. This will take you to the YBATYD Podcast website. From here you can either choose to listen to any of the shows directly from the site or you can click on the Subscribe button which will then subscribe you to the show via iTunes. How chuffing marvellous is that?

There really is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Plagiarism!

OK, alright, just leave it will you? Look, blogging ain't easy. You have to think of someting to write nearly every day and in my case I have to try and make it amusing too. So I'm under more pressure than a bloke with his finger stuck in a hole in the Hoover Dam. So sometimes, just sometimes I have to resort to a bit of plagiarism (the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work) in order to deliver to my readers. Although, as I'm admitting my cheating it's technically not plagiarism. Just borrowing. Sort of.

Anyway, a dear chum of mine (who used to have a chiselled jaw but it's filled out a bit now) sent me a rather amusing email. Now I truly, hardly ever forward on emails (especially the ones that have already been forwarded 87 times and every single person who's sent it onwards has left all the addresses and other crap on from the previous sender and the one before and ... and ...) so I've only borrowed this because I reckon it's both amusing and witty - unlike all my posts thus far.

So, without further ado, here it is:

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero co-ordination.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

Next time - Original content! Subject to creative ability.

Ghostly thoughts

As it's Hallowe'en (note the pedantic, correct spelling), I've been thinking about spooky things, witches, ghosts, monsters and ghoulies (not goolies - that's someting else entirely). So, apparitions and poltergeists are things that we all think may be there but we never see. Something else which I know is there but never see are comments from my dear readers. That's you.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful that a few misguided souls out there actually peruse my little literary oasis, sitting here quietly on the interwebnet. I'm also eternally grateful to those of you who do pop your thoughts in the old Comments box and share them with the rest of us - especially my super comment-er who so kindly gives regular feedback on my inane ramblings. I'd just love to hear thoughts from the rest of you from time to time. Really, I would. Really.

It's really easy to do. You just click on the word 'Comments' which is below each posting. In the box that opens just scroll to the space where you type in what you want to say, complete the word verification section and then choose 'anonymous' or 'other' (unless you are a fellow Blogger) as your identity and click "Publish your comment'. You're done. Easy. Then I can put your feedback on the site and your valued input will be there for the world to see. Ain't that just swell?

Failing that - just send cash to my PayPal account.

Good ol' global warming

Now I know the imminent demise of our fair planet is both extremely serious and wholly depressing but surely 'every cloud has a silver lining'? Take yesterday for example (see the photo). It was the 29th of October, in England and it was 64 degrees. Not only that, the air was still and the sky was blue. Warm sun blazed down on the river and the canal as dozens of people enjoyed a beautiful summer-like stroll.

Of course the downside of this idyllic scene is that it is being generated (so some scientists say) by the burning of fossil fuels, CFC's, carbon emissions and all the other fun activities we humans have been getting up to in the last couple of centuries. I suppose we should have known that all this naughty behaviour would eventually cause a cataclysmic environmental disaster but to be honest, who cared? The only people who ever used to get upset about this sort of thing were baggy jumper-wearing, tent-dwelling, humungously-bearded activists. Some of them were men too. Well, it appears that this little Earth of ours is becoming distinctly unwell and unfortunately there is no planetary health scheme which can help repair it.

As it all seems so hopeless and depressing, I reckon we might as well enjoy the benefits of a global warming. So if that means a warm autumnal walk, a blistering summer's day at the beach or an exciting local flash flood then I think we should just go with the flow / deluge. Now maybe that all sounds a bit dismissive and lacking in any genuine concern for the environment. However, aside from doing my bit - recycling household waste, switching off lights and turning down the central heating - what else can I do that the industries and governments of the world cannot?
I do what I can and after that? Sod it. Slap on the suntan lotion and catch some rays is what I say. I mean, you're born and then you die so you may as well enjoy the bit in the middle.

Even if it means burning like a spit-roasted pig. Vegetarian option available

Oh yeah

Life is good. My neck is feeling better; Birmingham won again; my car is nearly paid for and I've got a whole weekend off. Now you may say that I'm easily pleased and you'd be right. Mind you, I've just had the best part of a whole bottle of classy white wine and I'm listening to iTunes as I type. So, yes, things are pretty good. You want details? No? Well here they are anyway.

Due to the advice from my doctor, sitting bolt upright at work and in my car; doing neck exercises and sleeping with just one (god, that's difficult) pillow have all helped to make me feel ever so slightly human again.

Birmingham (City FC) won again today against local rivals West Brom. In the past few weeks things have been a bit todge for the Blues and there were even rumblings about the boss (Steve Bruce) possibly getting the elbow. However, a trio of victories have changed all that and we are now equal fifth in the league and still in the League Cup.

And yes, after five long years, I make my final payment on my car in mid-November. I shall be several quid better off each month which fills me with considerable joy and self-satisfaction. So what shall I spend my extra cash on? Answers on an email to 'bornthendie@mac.com'.

So, I'm feeling pretty chuffed with myself at the moment which means that something terrible is bound to happen, such as one of my limbs developing deep-vein thrombosis during the night or tribe of murderous, psychopathic Slovakian commis chefs invading the back garden and setting up an open air-cookery school for foreign dissidents. That would be just typical.
I feel, therefore, that I must make the most of things while the going is good and take a few risks.

I'm going to eat the 19 day-old cauliflower that's festering in the fridge.

Pain in the neck - part II

I posted previously about my manky neck. Well you'll be delighted to know that it's still there. The pain, not my neck. Although, of course, my neck is still there. Anyway, I finally went to the doc's yesterday and was told that I have a "chronic neck injury". Oh joy. It's all to do with the fibrous muscles which are connected to my spine being in spasm, pretty much constantly. More joy. It looks like I've developed this delightful affliction over a sustained period and that it's caused by things like being on the computer; the way I've been sitting and possibly just generally giving the left side of my neck some grief.

And the cure? Don't sit wrong, lie wrong or use the computer mouse wrong. I also have to do neck exercises that make me look like a simpleton. Added to this I need to have my chair at work and my car seat, bolt upright. I look like a right old duffer as I'm driving along with my head touching the roof of the car and then twisting my whole body round when I need to look right. I've seen people tittering.

It's doing my head in. Sometimes the pain in my neck is bad enough to make wish for a distraction. I've even considered dropping a couple of live lobsters down my trousers or gargling a cup of Windowlene for a bit of light relief. Oh well, I'm sure things will be back to normal soon enough.

Yes. I am brave aren't I?

Past the 100!

Hello and welcome to posting 101. Well, I'm obviously extremely proud to be here on this momentous occasion. Of course, I'd like to thank my parents, my wife, my family, my lawyer, my chiropractor, my cat, my high school geology teacher, my cholonic-irrigantionist, my friends & colleagues and finally, my old neighbour - Pat (for not letting on about my little incident with badger and the morphine) for all their love and support ... sorry, I'm a little emotional .... I just want this to be a reminder to everyone about all the suffering there is in the world. It's time we stopped global-warming and people-trafficking. We need to fight oppression and torture which is so rampant in so many corrupt regimes. We must stand against the onslaught of worldwide consumerism. And we must fight those who serve 'brown' sauce instead of proper HP Sauce in roadside cafes.

So, thank you to all / both my loyal readers. I never thought I'd keep going with YBATYD but, after a few wobbly bits (that's not a literal 'wobbly') I've hopefully managed to provide the odd nano-second of joy to a few precious souls. I intend to continue with my scholarly ramblings for as long as I'm mentally able. So that's the next 4 months guaranteed then.

Please keep enjoying the blog and please keep commenting or emailing me. I just love a bit of typographical banter you know. Oh and if anyone wants to send me money / precious metals / tinned fish, I shall accept them all graciously. So then, YBATYD continues and who knows, maybe one day it will be recognised for the literary genius I know it is.

Now where did I put my anti-dementia pills?

'Nice'-land?

A colleague of mine at work popped over to Iceland last week for a short break. Before the jokes start, no, he didn't visit the discount, frozen food emporium. He went to the actual country (103,000 sq km /39,769 sq miles; population: 294,000; capital: Reykjavik; major language: Icelandic; main exports: fish and fish products, metals) to experience everything it has to offer. Here then is a summary of events and facts from his trip:

A pint of beer costs £8.00 (That's $15)
He was the only guest at the hotel Hrauneyjar in Hrauneyjarfoss
He hired a 4x4 car but stoved it into a snow drift. He escaped after removing "something from underneath the car"
At a restaurant in Akureyri there was horse meat and whale meat on offer
It was windy. Very windy. Average wind speed was 23 metres a second (60-70 mph)
At the hotel Hrauneyjar in Hrauneyjarfoss they serve meals to the workers at the nearby hydro-electric plant. On Fridays', as part of the set menu, they offer sheeps' heads. Click on the photo

So that I and my other colleagues may enjoy a flavour of Iceland, he bought us back a special culinary treat. Dried fish flakes. Here are several words that describe them: abominable, awful, beastly, detestable, distasteful, foul, frightful, ghastly, gruesome, hateful, hideous, horrid, loathsome, monstrous, nasty, nauseating, objectionable, obnoxious, odious, offensive, outrageous, rank, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, rotten, satiating, stinking, surfeiting, and vile.

Still, better than a bloody sheep's head. Even with gravy.

Sunday wedding

Just got back from a wedding reception. Yeah, I know, on a Sunday. Therefore, I'm going to be a tad tired tomorrow ('cos I'm a lightweight). However, the folks at the 'do' didn't let us down. There were the obligatory drunk dads 'dancing' to Bohemian Rhapsody and Tainted Love along with an assortment of small children, charging around in a variety of junior dinner jackets and small-person, satin bridesmaid dresses.

The buffet was spot on and even featured a blast from the past in the form of cheese and pineapple on cocktails sticks. A classic. The bride looked radiant and the groom looked hammered but extremely pleased with himself. I think they're off to Prague for the honeymoon.

All in all, a really nice evening and a chance to make an effort in the personal presentation department - I had a shower and a shave. I hope they have a long and happy marriage together.

Well, long anyway!

Podcast ... possibly?

How much drivel can you stand? If it's not bad enough reading the pages of tripe that I churn out on this 'ere blog, I'm considering a YBATYD podcast. I actually did a couple of trial podcasts a while ago but having just taken delivery of iLife 06 for my Mac, I can now produce something decent. Er, I hope.

Now the thing is, a)who would want to hear it? b)will it have enough content? c)can I be arsed? I reckon I'd have to rely on plenty of humorous stories and info from t'internet alongside my own creative genius. Ooops - modesty alert. Well, I'm working on some bits 'n' bobs right now, so if things work out then I may well give it a go. Of course the YBATYD blog will continue whatever happens, so don't go chucking yourselves of bridges/tall buildings/coffee tables just yet. Crikey - I do like putting pressure on myself don't I?

It's not easy being a hero.

Crashed rozzer car

Well, I couldn't think of anything interesting to write today, so I cheated. So here's a bit of footage I caught on my mobile phone last year.

What a different world it would be

When I wake up at 5.14am and can't get back to sleep, my mind doesn't half become active. Possibly because at that time of the morning I am still clinically deceased and therefore not quite 'with it'. Anyway, my brain never ceases to amaze and intrigue me so it was no surprise to me when I had the following thought - 'what a different world it would be if cars had never been invented'. Specifically, if the internal combustion engine had never been invented.

The trick with this one is to imagine a world bereft of all vehicles. No cars, buses, lorries or motorbikes. Instead - horses and carts. However, the rest of the world is just the same. So there are computers, satellite telly, Bush & Blair, Marmite, mobile phones, edible underwear and double-glazing salesmen. So everything is exactly as you see it right now dear reader, except that the roads are full of horses and carts. This takes some thinking about, so here are a few things that popped into my head as I cogitated this morning:

Car tax would become Cart tax. Cart tax would pay for clearance of horse poo
Lorries would become extra large carts pulled by teams of Shire horses
Carts would be made by existing companies like Ford, Toyota, Land Rover and Ferrari
You'd still have to pass a driving test, including a three-point turn with a horse
Petrol stations would instead be Hay depots with different grades and prices of hay
Traffic lights, roundabouts and motorways would still exist
The speed limit in towns would be 6 mph and 12 mph on motorways
Like cars, carts/carriages would have SatNav, CD players, headlights and air con
Drive-Thru MacDonalds'would still exist but would be re-named Trot-Thru's
Youths would still go joyriding, albeit at about 13 mph
Both horses and carts would require a yearly MOT
Kwik-Fit would replace cart wheels along with horseshoes
Some people would still add spoilers and go-faster stripes to their carts

Wouldn't it be amazing to see the world like this? I'm just imagining the large Argos cart pulling up outside my house to deliver the new fridge freezer. Or a couple of boy racers at the traffic lights, just waiting to race each other with their respective second-hand carts. Just think what the M25 would look like at 'rush' hour or your local NCP car park. Fabulous!

I could go on, but I've got to feed Dobbin before I go to Tesco's.

Oh go on!

One Day in History is a project aiming to create an online archive of a day in the life of the UK. The BBC website says "The National Trust is encouraging people to record a diary of their day on a website, as part of what is being called 'Britain's biggest blog'. The blogs will then be stored by the British Library and at other locations".

So basically, it's your chance to leave your mark on history. Your 15 minutes of fame if you like. I've done mine and to be honest, it felt quite nice to be contributing to a fairly momentous event. So I think it's a great opportunity for everyone to have their say and let the world know what dull lives we all lead. So just click the title of this posting and it'll take you straight to the site.

Go on. Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on ... (etc to fade)

USPAS comment killer

Doh! I made a boo-boo. There's me banging on about how easy it is now to leave me a comment and then I go and make a schoolboy error. So, I get a fabulous bit of creative literature (USPAS - needs explaining) from a generous correspondent and what do I do? I publish it then I delete it! My God, it's a good job I'm not in charge of a nuclear missile base - "So red is 'launch missile' and green is the dinner bell - er, I've got that the wrong way round haven't I?" Thus instead of bangers and mash for everyone at the base, it would be global, thermonuclear war and the annihilation of the human race for ever.

OK, it's only someone's comment - but it's important. Now, if the person concerned can send that little comment to me again I can re-publish it. Believe me, I tried to get it back but like an otter in a flood - it just wouldn't return. If you've forgotten what you wrote then email me at 'bornthendie@mac.com' and I'll email you back with your comment and then you can post it on here again and then everyone can read and then I'll be happy and you'll be happy and then there will be world peace and everyone will be happy.

Happy now?