Cat(s)nip

One of my esteemed correspondents has informed me that her pussy ... cat (I'm not dumbing down THAT much) is about to have a bit of routine surgery in the trouser region. Now there are several reasons for having your cats' love-spuds lopped off. These include the obvious one of preventing him from fathering a veritable clan of ASBO-prone, feral felines along with a few other benefits. Benefits such as a much calmer cat, a more loving cat, a less territorial cat and a cat that doesn't spray that rancid wee stuff over plants, car tyres and your 37" LCD telly.

Now this got me thinking. I'm a bloke. No really, I've checked and everything. As blokes go, I'm fairly placid, affectionate and responsible. Not all men are like this. You may even know some. So, imagine, if you will, what sort of a world we would have whereby all those violent, aggressive, drunken, promiscuous n'er-do-well's had their hairy chestnuts hacked off (in a proper, medical way of course)instead of being thrown in jail for their crimes? Would those unpleasant and disturbing traits disappear, just like they do with our kitty-bretheren?

If it did work, we would be blessed with a whole new type of man - knackerless but well adjusted and pleasant to be with. The criminal justice system would be transformed and the world would be a safer, happier place.

As long as they didn't start bringing dead birds into the lounge.