We've all read stuff that we can't understand. You know the sort of thing: credit card agreements, mortgage applications, DIY instructions and especially any type of contract. The Plain English Campaign (link in title) is an organisation that fights to rid the world of this incomprehensible drivel and has some brilliant examples of horrendously complex gobbledygook on their website.So imagine my joy when I came across this notice, posted by my local council. It's basically advising people of some upcoming road closures due to a big event. It's 18 paragraphs long, tied to a lamp-post and full of literary cobblers. Here's one of my favourite paragraphs, Paragraph 5:
Nothing in Paragraph 3 of this Notice shall apply as to make it unlawful for any person to proceed in the lengths of roads to which the public has access as specified in the said Paragraph for the purposes of access to or egress from premises, provided that the said access or egress may only be gained by proceeding over the lengths of roads to which the public has access as specified in the said Paragraph, provided that the Event taking place would not be inconveniently interrupted.
Dear God.
2 comments:
"Move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you're not getting your hair cut, unless you've got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you've had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you."
'civil partner' works for your local council ?
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